For the past two months and change, I've been in what I've loosely called a "deliverance process." I had no idea how real that phrase would become. If you haven't read Part 1 already, take a look at it now to learn how I came to know about deliverance and find the ministry I used to gain freedom over demonic oppression, footholds, and strongholds.
Now, let's get into the juicy stuff….
Okay, just kidding. There's some necessary background I need to set before we get into the details of my deliverance session. The ministry I used for deliverance, Flawed and Free, focuses on breaking any legal rights demons have to you or your bloodline, which involves the Courts of Heaven. This is an absolute game changer!
I had previously heard of the Courts of Heaven but had no idea what it genuinely was or why it was necessary.
One thing people tend to discount or choose to ignore is how deep things can be (and usually are) with God.
There is more going on than meets the eye; there is an entire spiritual realm moving and grooving while we live life here in the natural. In addition to the Courts of Heaven, I learned of things I never even knew existed, like spiritual spouses and different ways you can open yourself up to demonic access. I was fascinated to learn how deep this stuff goes and how it is not widely discussed amongst the Church.
During the fasting portion of my process, Flawed and Free sent me my Courts of Heaven notes with my verdict and the list of demons identified as having legal access to me. During my fast and until my actual deliverance date, I was continually binding these demons (by name) and any demon connected to and partnering with them. The spirit of Fear was listed in my notes, which surprised me at first (I was expecting Anxiety to be listed). After some thought, I realized many of my worries, anxieties, and doubts were ultimately rooted in fear.
The biggest thing you have to know about preparing for deliverance is that you must come out of agreement with the demonic spirits - whether it be Fear, Depression, Infirmity (sickness), etc. When people say things like "my anxiety" or "my sickness" or "the way my depression is set up," all it does is reinforce your agreement with that spirit, which gives it continued access to you. You must come out of agreement with it and come into agreement with the truth spoken in the word of God.
I was looking forward to freedom and being delivered from Fear, among other things, but if I'm being honest…. I had some fear around manifestation. One thing was clear with the little I knew about deliverance: demons be manifesting. I had read up on different manifestations that may occur and knew that the most essential part was letting whatever you felt happen, regardless of what it was. I was torn between wanting the demons to manifest so that I "knew it was real" and not wanting any manifestations because I was freaked out.
The Lord instructed me to take Communion in the days leading up to my deliverance. In addition, I was continuously praying, renouncing and rejecting Fear, and reading and declaring the word of God. Luke 10:19, John 8:36, 2 Timothy 1:7, and 2 Corinthians 3:17 were my anchor verses. The Lord also had me re-read all the words He spoke over me that I had journaled during the entire process.
Many of these words mentioned that the demons would not want to leave, but they had to go and that it would be a fight, but I already had the victory.
Okay, NOW, let's get to the juicy stuff - my actual deliverance experience.
My deliverance was via Zoom and included myself and four women from Flawed and Free. They explained the process to me, and I had my wastebasket and paper towels ready. I had been begging the Lord that I wouldn't vomit, but I was prepared for Him to kick the demons out in whatever way necessary.
Y'all, when I say demons be manifesting…they be manifesting, okay?!
The following section contains all the info about what I experienced during my deliverance session, including details on manifestations. If you are not in a place to be confronted with the reality of what can occur during deliverance, please jump to the next section.
MY DELIVERANCE EXPERIENCE
Note: We were on Zoom for over three hours, and a LOT happened. The details are a little fuzzy to me in terms of the sequence of events, but everything you'll read below is what I experienced over those 3+ hours.
We started the session with a few prayers that I spoke aloud, and then we went into the prayers for deliverance. At first, I only felt my stomach clenching, which I had felt whenever I would bind the spirits on my own previously, so it was familiar to me. I even thought, "maybe this is all I will experience." LOL, nah. I started feeling things coming up inside me, and I kept wanting to smile or laugh. Finally, the smiles came through, then the laughter broke out. I felt appalled that I was laughing in the face of the prayers and presence of the Holy Spirit, but I also knew it wasn't actually me laughing.
During this time, in the beginning, I could feel something, almost like a sly presence, that was rising up. I was looking around, ignoring the Zoom on my computer as if it wasn't worth my time. It was almost like there was an arrogance that came over me. I distinctly remember the person praying called the name of a specific demon and my eyes flashed to the screen. (This demon was listed on my Court notes, so I was not surprised to hear his name.) The person praying told him that the rights were broken, he no longer had legal access to me, and he must go. Then it started to get real.
My neck and head started contorting, and I thought, "It's happening!" My face began warping; I started breathing heavily and was filled with utter rage. I yelled, I believe I even growled (because I thought, "Oh my gosh, is this what it sounds like when demons growl?"), and I low-key think I might've foamed at the mouth (there was a lot of saliva action going on). Then I looked up at the clock and saw that we had been on the Zoom for well over an hour. I am unsure if I had lost consciousness or not, but I honestly believe I did because I have no idea where that block of time went.
As quickly as the laughter had come up earlier, the crying started. I immediately felt the shift of the demons realizing their time was up and they had to go. When I say they were crying, I don't mean a tear streaming down my face type of crying. I mean boo-hoo, clown-style frown face, big crocodile tears, shaking your head and whining "Nooo!" type of cries. Then I felt the oddest sensation - like something was being pushed through in the space between my eyeball and eyelid. With the sobbing and pressure around my eye, my body had so much going on that I was a little bit surprised when I started burping! For those that don't know - demons can exit the body in many ways, including coughing, vomiting, burping, and even out the other way, if you catch my drift.
For my entire deliverance session, I was obviously there physically, but it's almost like I was a spectator. I could think, speak and register what was happening (for the most part), but I was not actively doing much of anything. I could tell that my body was moving and felt my body moving, but I was aware that I was not the one provoking these movements. A few times, I would wipe away tears, blow my nose, take a drink of water, etc. I could control my body if I chose, but I knew the importance of letting the manifestations happen.
Other manifestations and things I experienced, in addition to the crying & sobbing, smiling & laughing, and rage-filled temper tantrum, were: several body contortions, involuntary movements and the clenching of muscles, shrieks and weird sounds/moans coming out of my mouth, coughing, spitting, tooting, the feeling of being "found out" when certain demons were called out (when they were trying to hide), and some demons audibly speaking through me. It was fascinating to see how blasphemous some of the demons were, to hear the lies they spoke, and to feel how they would move my body to try and intimidate the women praying over me; it was absolutely wild. There were a couple of points where I caught a glimpse of my face in the Zoom (my Zoom is set up to show my camera in the gallery, but not in speaker view), and I hardly recognized myself - it was clear a demon was front and center.
There are a couple blocks of time that are lost to me, so I am not sure if I lost consciousness more than once or if the manifestations were just going on longer than I thought. Eventually, I saw that we were over two and a half hours in, and from then on, I was pretty locked in and aware. I experienced more manifestations during this time, but I was very aware that in addition to my own thoughts, I could also hear the demons inside my mind. It was utterly bizarre to hear something spoken in first-person and know it's not your thought.
During this portion, the spirit of Lust spoke through me to those praying, spouting nothing but lies from the pit of Hell. Then, the person praying said, "I mute you," and the most bizarre thing happened - my mouth immediately closed and even twisted like it wanted to say something but couldn't. Demons MUST submit to the authority of the Holy Spirit, which is available to Christians according to Luke 10:19. In fact, every demon had to obey each time it was asked a question or commanded something ("Look at me," "Speak and do not lie," "Don't hurt her"). They had to listen even when I would say something (instead of the women praying over me).
Throughout all the hours Flawed and Free prayed over me, I knew the demons were manifesting, but I was never scared. I was slightly surprised when they started speaking out of me (versus just making noises or sounds), but I was not afraid. Toward the end, I grew weary at times and called on the Holy Spirit to assist me, but I never was filled with fear or anxiety. Eventually, I longed for it to be over because I was physically exhausted. But, I kept repeating the scriptures that I was standing on and the word that God had given me - that victory and deliverance were my portion.
TAKEAWAYS FROM MY EXPERIENCE
As crazy and supernatural as it was, my entire experience was edifying to my faith. It was, honestly, faith in action. You can read the word of God and believe by faith and know, intellectually, that you have authority over Satan and demons, but it is another level to see it in real-time. I also received revelation on how deep these things can be - from principalities to bloodline rights to word curses & demonic assignments against you to demons transferring powers to other spirits so they can continue their works.
This isn't hopscotch; it's spiritual warfare, and we are told to put on the armor of God for a reason (Ephesians 6:10-18).
Immediately after my deliverance session ended, I was exhausted. I felt lighter, sure, but not happy-go-lucky or full of energy like I thought I would be. I looked and felt like I had just run a marathon. During my shower and while I was getting ready for bed, I noticed how still and clear my mind was; I didn't seem to have the chaotic onslaught of thoughts I usually had. I was so excited about this newfound freedom!
I didn't know much about deliverance before starting this process in April, and I still have much to learn. I believed deliverance was a one-and-done deal, and I am so grateful to Flawed and Free for clarifying that deliverance is a process! They explained that after a deliverance session like that, there may be things that God allowed to stay that will come out later and/or additional healing or actions I need to take to continue being delivered. They reinforced to me that it is okay and normal to have more than one deliverance experience; it's just that my first one was most likely more intense since it dealt with ancestral and generation spirits and bondages.
If you think this experience was wild, or that deliverance is a single one-and-done event, I've got news for you… and you can find it in Part 3.
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