Over the weekend, I was doing laundry and flashed back to the first Saturday of the year. I was expecting certain things to happen, and when they didn't, I got beyond frustrated. That Sunday, January 5, 2020, I was in my laundry room and couldn't take it anymore. I threw the tantrum of a three-year-old. I complained to God about how He said I would have ABC by now, and not only did I not have ABC, I didn't have XYZ either. I remember, so distinctly, thinking, "Why does it feel like the joke is always on me, God? Why can't the joke ever be on Satan?" (Spoiler alert: I'm dramatic. The joke is always on Satan; I just was being Kiki in my feelings.) After my tantrum of slamming my washer door and shedding too many crocodile tears, I brooded for a bit longer before deciding to tune into Transformation Church. I knew I needed God, and by the time we were midway through the worship, my anger had evaporated into desperation.
Keep in mind that I'm talking about 2020, as in this year, as in three years after God gave me my assignment (catch up on my last post). I remember what happened next as clear as day. I was sitting in my office, watching TC, busy minding my business as Pastor Mike was preaching about vision.
Now, if you have never heard Pastor Mike preach, don't be surprised if your neck is sore and your edges are snatched by the end of his message - it happens all the time.
I'm used to feeling like God is working when I watch TC, but when I say God spoke to me through Pastor Mike that day… I'm far from lying. Here, watch for yourselves (from 31:34-32:42).
Are you as shook as I was? I slumped down in my chair so far I almost hit the floor. I had never felt so exposed - in a room where I was utterly alone. God will do that to you.
Obviously, after that, I wrote the book in record speed and was finished by February. Wrong. I worked on it, sure, but I still struggled with completing it. In the summer - June, if I recall correctly - God exposed things that I never even realized could be possible.
I learned how hard people ride for the enemy and how much people genuinely need Jesus. I felt such an urgency to get the book completed and get it done ASAP!
So, I got to work. I finished my remaining chapters, created my first real draft, began the editing process, solicited friends for feedback, and started looking into publishing. I hired someone to create the cover, and took it upon myself to format the entire interior. I had some stumbling blocks along the way, but God always came through with a solution. I am so thankful for the grace and help He has provided me, both with resources and support. Today I can officially say it is finished. Ya girl is a whole author!
In my last post, I told you that I wasn't writing a book exactly, but it was essentially the same thing. After starting and stopping with so many different ideas over the years, I finally landed on the concept - a devotional. What's funny is that I was looking through old journals and found a post from early 2018. Apparently, I had the idea to write a devotional back then because I asked God about it. I completely forgot about that and had started up with something else in the summer of 2018. I also forgot that God had given me the inkling to self-publish with Amazon. I was thiiiiiis close to choosing another vendor, and in the 11th hour decided to go with Amazon. It's funny how God will always bring us around to His expected end, even if it takes us a bit to get there.
Let me introduce to you my devotional: Letters to the Lord
Letters to the Lord is a 21-day, interactive devotional that tackles the question, "What does it take to follow God?" I have learned a lot over my Walk with Christ the last 5+ years, and I share splashes of my testimony with you in the pages of the devotional. When I first started walking with God, I felt so intimidated, like everyone knew what they were doing except for me. I don't want anyone, especially those new to Christ, ever to feel intimidated by having a relationship with Jesus. I share the real story of my Walk - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
There are things in this devotional that some of my closest friends don't even know!
I wanted to be honest, real, and transparent with this because I want you to know that it doesn't take being a pastor, a prophet, or somebody with a platform to walk with God. All it takes is a yes from you.
I am so excited to share this purpose project with the world, and it all starts THIS WEEKEND! I'll be posting on my Instagram when it's officially live, so follow me to be the first to know. I cannot wait to see how God uses this devotional to impact your life!
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